Murphey651

It's hard to explain how alone I feel sometimes, even when I'm constantly surrounded by people.  I live in a house with 30 girls, and even when my roommate and her BFF are sitting across from me, the two living in the room connected to ours are walking in and out and voices are flowing strongly and clearly up the stairwell that leads to my bed, I feel like I'm in a bubble.  I feel invisible. I know I'm not one of those girls.  I'm not your typical sorority girl - the girl always surrounded by sisters, always latching arms with another, smiling, laughing, impeccable posture holding up a confident face.  The one who absorbs the constant flow o

Firstly, I thought about deleting that message I wrote last night.  Not that I didn't believe it at the time, but things have changed since then.  I wrote that in the aftermath of a horrid anxiety attack, after dealing with my troubles the way i always do.  Don't judge me if you're against this - but i get high and forget everything.  I was high when I wrote that, and the words weren't phasing me as much as they do when I'm sober. Secondly, I was diagnosed this morning with an anxiety disorder.  The symptoms have been around since I was a kid (kids have symptoms of anxiety, but no one really knows because they're irrational and don't know pe

This has been the most stressful quarter of my life.  I am no longer living for myself.  I have become so consumed with everything around me, that I'm completely put on edge and letting every little thing push me over.  I've already had three anxiety attacks this year, and usually I have three in a year.  Greek life has been in a lot of trouble at my school, and even though its a whole 3% of the population thats fucking up, we're all in trouble.  Its the fraternities that cause chaos, and the sororities suffer in their place.  Everyone is bracing themselves for the next bad thing, and it always happens.  Every single time something bad happen